The song encompasses everything we went through growing up in a house full of hate and Matt’s fight to keep his career in the NFL, but the main theme is about his relationship with Noah. After getting kicked out for being gay, I jumped a bus from Tennessee to New York and found Matt, who’d suffered the same fate a few years ago. My brother Matt and his husband, Noah, saved me eight months ago when I had nowhere to go. I’m not sure if it’s ready to be released into the world. It’s our new song’s debut tonight, and it’s one of those projects I wrote for myself. My non-answer is everything he needs to know. Being on stage is the only thing I’ve ever cared about.
It’s the place where I belong, and I live for this shit.
Once I’m out there in front of the crowd, I’ll be fine. Tonight’s anxiety is because of a completely different reason. It’s not my first experience with stage fright, but it’s usually caused by adrenaline pumping through me at a rate my body can’t handle. “What’s with the stage jitters? We’ve done this a billion times.” The fancy-ass bite-sized appetizers I ate earlier threaten to come back up. I flip him off, but not because he doesn’t have a point. “You look like you’re gonna chunder,” Benji says. I throw the sticks back to Freya and shake out my hands. It’s a complete travesty that accent and muscular body is attached to someone who’s straight, but even his hot Australianism ain’t enough of a distraction for my nerves tonight. The playful goofball is a role I can play well, but I reckon my bandmates can tell it’s all a front tonight.īenji throws his bass strap over his shoulder. I throw one in the air and catch it and give her a wink. “Heeey,” Freya complains at the assault on her drumsticks. I bang the sticks against the bench harder. I’m probably going to start hyperventilating with the heavy breathes, but I need another one. Yep, this benefit is a big enough deal to have a red carpet. I’m way more comfortable in my ripped skinny jeans and plain gray T-shirt than the tailored suit Noah made me wear for the red carpet. The hotel gave us their employee lounge to change out of our penguin suits and grunge up.
I steal Freya’s drumsticks off her and start tapping away on the bench inside our makeshift dressing room. Sure, it’s for my brother-in-law’s LGBTQ charity, they need to raise money, and there’s a lot of important people here, but it’s just another gig. **Please note, it is recommended to have read Trick Play before reading this as it does contain spoilers to Matt and Noah’s story.**
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